What Would Gary Roberts Blog: WWGRD In Mid-Season Form, 2 Wins in 6 Days

Okay obviously I'm sorry for the lack of a report on the team's 2nd game, but I was not there so I do not know what the fuck I was supposed to do. I can tell you that WWGRD fuckin' dusted Ron Weasley's team for the second time in as many years, to the tune of an 8-3 pounding. Dylan Berthiaume potted 2 in the route, and Michael Nantau, Sean Micelli, Sheldon Tracey, Riley Pekar and call-ups Tim Mlinaric and Luke Leffler added singles for the boys in blue. The boys were short-staffed for the Friday Matinee game on the first day of November, but they fought through adversity in a way only Gary could have taught them to do.

Only 6 days after their first win of the season, WWGRD took the ice in a rematch against the Fire Chiefs, who they tied 3-3 in the season opener. Feeling that they were robbed of a second point in their first meeting, WWGRD was looking to show the Fire Chiefs that the tie was a fluke. The team would have to take the ice without their fearless leader, as captain Marc Berthiaume was out of the lineup with an infected laceration, but he tossed on a suit for the boys and manned the bench. WWGRD would get the early lead they were looking for thanks to their top line of Pancerny-Micelli and All-Swedish.

It was a quick strike that there was no defense for. With the face-off at the right-hand dot in the offensive zone, Seaner Michelli won a clean draw back-handed to the sharp-shooting Pancerny who was positioned at the top of the circle. The fan-favourite Pancerny let the shot go as quickly as it got to him, and beat the Fire Chief tendy to give WWGRD the 1-0 lead. After a couple of goals (probably bullshit goals) in response from the Fire Chiefs, the first line would come to the rescue again. Working the puck in the offensive zone, Micelli was able to get control of the puck along the side boards. He held the puck and waited for a passing lane before firing a pass to the front of the net for No Finish. The Macedonian Menace kicked the pass towards the net and off the tendys pad, before jamming the rebound in and tying the game back up at 2s.

The Fire Chiefs would once again have an answer, scoring two more goals to take a 4-2 lead, including a centering pass that went off of defenceman Douglas Lambier's skate and in. WWGRD was down but they were not out. They turned to their impressive '93 line which had been getting chances all game to bring them back into this one. Brent Lozinsky stripped the forward of the puck in the Fire Chief zone and passed it down low to Dylan Berthiaume at the side of the net. Berthiaume tried to wrap the puck to the far side of the of net but lost control of it. Riley Pekar, stitches in his lip and all, corralled the loose puck and tossed a back hander into the night to bring the boys back within one. With WWGRD controlling the play, obviously it was their first line that would pull the boys even again.

The team's continued pressure would lead to a turnover to the wrong boy in blue. A Fire Chief clearing attempt up the middle would prove costly as the puck would find it's way to the red-hot Pancerny. B-Money pumped a shot towards the net that would pinball off a couple of Fire Chief shin pads before finding the pack of the net. With the game now tied up, the table was set for a hero from last season to make his mark on this season much sooner this time around.

With time trickling down and a Fire Chief attacker attempting to break passed the defense of WWGRD, a blur of blue that later turned out to be Riley Pekar flew by him and stripped the puck. Pekar tossed the puck up the boards and as Dylan Berthiaume stepped on the ice he chipped it to a streaking Douggie Lambier. With the game on his stick, Douggie wound out and gave everything he had into a clapper... which went wide and started wrapping around the boards with less than 10 seconds left. Sheldon Tracey put his head down from the red line and skated on a dead line for the puck. He beat the first Fire Chief to the puck and absorbed the checks of a few more before finding himself down low with 3 seconds left and two teammates out front. He sauced a puck to the front which Dylan Berthiaume was able to get a twig on and deflect off the post and in less than a second before the buzzer went to end the game!! The team flooded the ice to celly the huge W, including coach Marc Berthiaume who beat half of the team to the celly despite wearing dress shoes before being told to get off the ice. WWGRD now sits at a respectable 2-0-1 through 3 games.

Sheldon Tracey spoke to the media following the game about his hero play along the boards to keep the game alive. "To put it in the words of Miley Cyrus, I came in like a wrecking ball." He then licked his twig (since he didn't have a hammer) before continuing, "I couldn't believe I escaped with the puck at my feet and I knew with the puck on my twig there was no way we were going to lose." Now with 2 goals in as many games to start the year, Alex Djordjevski is doing his best to shake all of the nicknames and comments about his lack of ability to finish. He spoke about what has lead to his success in the early season, giving most of the credit to "some chem built over the offseason via drunk chel." He then awkwardly smiled as the members of the media slowly walked away, no longer interested in what No Finnish had to say. WWGRD now awaits the announcement of when their next game will be, as they will look to keep their undefeated season alive.

MOLSON CANADIAN THREE STARS