5 in a Row, Back to Five Hundo

Coming into action Monday night, nothing was gunna stand between WWGRD and a .500 record, especially not Free Agents 1. With a 5-6 record and facing a 2-7-1 team, this was as good of a chance as any to get back to the glorious .500 mark for the first time since their 0-0 start to the season. One of WWGRD's hottest players as of late got the team off to the start they needed in this game. Brandon Pancerny, who has finally started to look for shots instead of passing first, put the team on the board. The Macedonian Menace poked the puck off of a Free Agent's twig and carried the puck up the wing. With two defenders committing to him and Pancerny calling for a pass in the slot, No Finnish showed some touch and got the puck to the streaking Pancerny. The smooth-handed Pancerny made a subtle move to the backhand and was able to slide the puck passed the tendy to give WWGRD the first lead of the game. The Free Agents were quick to respond, as they knotted the game at ones before the red-hot Michael Nantau stepped up.

Fresh off taking a puck to the jaw like a fucking champ in warm-ups, Nantau parked himself out front and was able to whack home the go-ahead goal as the loose puck was bouncing around out front. Mats Sundin let a shot go from the point that the Free Agent tendy wasn't able to corral. Nantau and Dylan Berthiaume were both mucking away out front before Nantau was able to put rubber to twine. This was Nantau's fourth consecutive game with a gino and his 5th goal over that stretch. Once again the Free Agents were quick to respond and tied the game back up at 2s. This time it was the only member of WWGRD with more goals than Nantau, Marc Berthiaume, who stepped up to give the team the lead once again.

Nantau was aggressive on the forecheck of a dump-in into the Free Agent zone as he was able to jar the puck loose and get it to the silky-handed A-cap Seaner Michelli down low. Micelli sauced a pass into the slot to the elder Berthiaume who made one defender miss before sliding the puck through the five hole of the tendy who was moving side-to-side. For the third time the Free Agents were able to even up the scoring however, as they were making this game much tougher for WWGRD than maybe they had anticipated. With the game tied, it was time for everyone's favourite 11-letter-last-named WWGRD member to try to once again shake a nickname.

All-Swedish No-Finnish Djordjevski had 2 goals on the year coming into this matchup, and countless opportunities to add to that total and lose the "No-Finnish" title. Monday night he showed a nose for the puck and a scorer's touch and luck. As Sean Micelli worked the puck back to the point, two-way d-man Eric Bauer let a clapper rip that was for some reason tipped by a Free Agent defender. The deflected puck squeaked through the tendy and was trickling wide before the Macedon Menace popped it home and gave the boys in blue a lead that would last. WWGRD was finally back to .500 on the season and is officially getting hot at the right time.

The media scrum around Eric Bauer in the dressing room was able to get his thoughts about the game, as he said "I think we played a good team game. The guys were making good looks and good things happened." He then went on to add, "We player our game and got ‘er done."

WWGRD will look to stretch the winning streak to 6 and jump above .500 for the first time this season when they take on the Upper Deckers on Wednesday, February 6th at 11pm at Adie Knox. The above .500 mark is something that may have seemed impossible for this club not too long ago when they were sitting at 1-6. The game against the Upper Deckers will also be fan appreciation night, so after the game the players will auction off their game-worn jerseys to season ticket holders. However, we will ask that the fans please wash and return the jerseys, as each player only has one.

First Star - Michael Nantau - 1 Goal, 1 Assist,
Took a puck to the face in warm-ups

Second Star - Alex Djordjevski - Game
Winning Goal, 1 Assist

Third Star - Sean Micelli - 2 Assists

 

 

Chiefs Bow Down to WWGRD

Few teams have been hotter as of late in the UWIHL than WWGRD, as they have been undefeated in 2013 and carried a 3 game winning streak into Monday night's match-up with the lowly and winless Chiefs. With a house packed full of WWGRD fans wearing their Stefan Branov beards, the team hit the ice looking to inch even closer to that glorious .500 winning percentage. The game didn't start off as planned for WWGRD, however. A loose puck in the slot was jumped on by a Chief defenceman and he was able to get a quick shot through the Woodslee Wall to give the Cheifs the early lead. WWGRD wouldn't let this stand, and it was a brother combo that would pull the game back even.

The still pointless Josh Covelli was able to keep a contested puck in at the line as he moved it back down low to Dylan Berthiaume. Berthiaume who is self-described as having "the best hockey sense on the team but you wouldn't know it cause I can't skate and have no hands," did his best Michael Nantau impression and drove hard to the net with the puck. As he let a shot go, it bounced off Marc Berthiaume's twig who made no actual effort to put it in, and just got lucky as he was mucking in front of the net. The WWGRD captain celly'd extra hard on this goal, because unlike Alex Djordjevski in the prior game, the Berthiaume brothers were able to put the puck in the back of the net and give Covelli his much-deserved first point of the season.

This wouldn't be the end of Covelli's night on the scoresheet however, as he would later send in who has been possibly WWGRD's hottest player as of late, Michael Nantau. Nantau continued to fill the back of the night as he would finish the play and give WWGRD the lead at 2-1. The flood gates were now open and the team wasn't going to hold back. Douggie Lambier fed a lead pass to Brandon Pancerny who used his speed to blow past the helpless Chief defender. Pancerny, who has been in a pass-first mindset all year long, was able to fool the goaltender with a beauty backhander over the tendy's shoulder to stretch the team's lead to two goals. Obviously this wouldn't be enough for the boys, and with his girlfriend once again in the stands, it was Douggie's time to shine. After Sheldon Tracey whiffed on a cross ice pass from Sean Micelli, Douggie picked it up and did the rest on his own. He went end to end before popping the puck in behind the helpless, surprisingly-asian tendy to stretch the lead to 3 at 4-1.

Unfortunately, as WWGRD let their foot off the gas a bit, and the Chiefs were able to crawl back and make it a one goal game at 4-3. With the game getting a little too close for comfort, two players who had already made their presence known in this game stood up to put the game back out of reach. A beauty passing play between Brandon Pancerny and Douggie Lambier was finished off by the team's offensively-gifted defenceman and stretched the lead back to two at 5-3. With the win all but in the books, there was only one thing left for WWGRD to accomplish in this game: get their old friend Brad Creamer to lose his shit again.

As the puck found its way to Creamy in the offensive zone, he was trampled over from behind by the beauty Phil Kessel. When Sour Cream went after Kessel, he became subject to nonstop chants and taunts from the WWGRD bench before being escorted to the box by the ref. A subtle chirp by the WWGRD captain, who was in the box, put Creamypants over the edge. With a sheet of glass between the two of them, Cream of Broccoli launched a loogie right at the eye level of Marc Berthiaume. As the WWGRD captain laughed at his stupidity from the box, Creamer was tossed from the game by the ref as the final seconds ticked off and WWGRD secured their 4th straight win.

Assistant Captain Sean Micelli spoke with the media about the team's winning streak after the game, "The boys have been rolling as of late, all lines are producing, the D has been real steady and Johnny's been a wall back there like usual." He went on to add, "we gotta keep this little run here going though. We're sitting at 5-6 right now but we're better than that, we just gotta go out and show it." Fresh off his first points of the year, Covelli also spoke to the media about his big night, saying, "Well it's a little relief not having everyone up my ass with their sticks hassling me about not having any points. I was sick and tired of all the bullshit so I decided to show up for a game and show the boys what this kid's made off, especially for all the fans that came out and showed their support."

WWGRD hits the ice again next Monday, January 28th at 11pm. They will face off against Free Agents 1, a rag-tag team of misfits that has struggled to a 2-6-1 start, but cannot be taken lightly as earlier in the season they defeated the Old Milwaukees who has since been promoted to Tier 1. Since a win would put the team back up to .500 on the year, the first 500 kids through the doors will get locker room passes to hang out with the boys before puck drop. See you all on Monday.

 

First Star - Joshua Covelli - 2 Assists,
Finally got a fucking point



Second Star - Brandon Pancerny - 1 Goal, 1 Assist

Third Star - Doug Lambier - 2 Goals, 1 Assist,
Continues to score if he GF is watching

WWGRD Clears Up The Easton-Fections

Coming in hot and winning their last two games, WWGRD took the ice against the 1-7 Easton-Fections on Monday night. Hunter Bushnell was making his second start between the pipes for everyone's favourite UWIHL team after a stellar performance in his season debut in 2012. The team was also without hard-nosed defenseman Eric Bauer and fan-favourite utility-man Dan DiCarlo. Thanks to fill-ins Brent Lozinsky and Phil Kessel however, the team was able to ice three full lines as they looked to stretch their winning streak to 3 games.

With his girlfriend in the stands, #6 in blue let everyone know early that this was going to be the Douggie Show tonight. Showcasing his usual smooth skating on the ice, it wasn't hard to tell he was going to be the one to put the team on his back and gino first. Off a hard fore-check by Brandon Pancerny, the puck made its way to Dylan Berthiaume who showed off his finesse with a touch pass to the man of the hour. With a tummy full of Mexican Town dinner, Douggie weaved his way through the D and made the goalie look bad before sliding the puck into the empty net and giving WWGRD the lead they were looking for. WWGRD hemmed in the Easton-Fections and was getting shot after shot but wasn't able to extend their lead to two. As the time was winding down at the end of the first half, the EFs mounted a counter attack that saw a 1-on-1 with the call-up defender Lozinsky. As the lucky piece of shit got ready to shoot, Lozinsky laid out to block the shot in front of Hunny Bushnell, but instead deflected the shot into the bottom corner off the post and in, knotting the game at 1s at half.

WWGRD looked to assert their dominance in the second half, knowing this was a game they could easily win and certainly should win. With a delayed penalty and the bench trying to get Hunny Boo Boo's attention in net to come to the bench, Booter and Nantau combined to set up the elder Micelli to score the go-ahead goal and get the momentum back in WWGRD's pocket. After the Macedonian Menace showed his Swedish form and failed to Finnish on a breakaway that would have given hard-working defender Josh Covelli his first point of the season, and Dylan Berthiaume lost his edge and fell on a breakaway, Michael Nantau showed that someone in a blue jersey actually can bury when in alone. After a nifty move by Boutette behind the net to fend off a forechecker, he moved the puck up to the veteran Mark Micelli who sent in tough guy Nantau all alone. Nantau continued to flash that he's traded in his scrapping mitts for a much softer pair as he made no mistake faking out the infected tendy and slid it home to bump the lead up to two goals.

WWGRD kept up the pressure, looking to continue to add to their goal total. After a clean faceoff win by Seaner Michelli, the puck made its way to Douggie Lambier at the point. With his woman intently looking on in the stands, Douggie ripped a clap with intentions of ginoing his second of the game. The Easton-Fections tendy flashed pad on the WWGRD defender, but kicked the puck right on the twig of the silky-haired A-Cap Micelli who finally scored on his 37th shot of the game. With the score now 4-1, WWGRD knew they had this game in the bag. Looknig to stretch his point total to three in front of his girlfriend, Douggie found himself standing all alone in front of the net. He made a couple quick moves before finding himself looking at a gaping cage. He had the team's 5th goal by the nutsack, but the Easton-Fection tendy made a diving paddle save, salvaging some sort of pride for his team in this game. The grossly named 1-7 team scored a goal on a shot from a weird angle that found its way through Hunny Bushnell, who was playing another stellar game, and pulled the score back to 4-2. This would be all that the comeback could muster, as the final would read 4-2.

Covelli, who was robbed of his first point of the year, talked to the media after the game about his team's performances of late. "Since the break I feel like the more beers the boys drank together, the more we've gelled together on the ice. After this performance I feel like the boys are starting to get the hang of each other and playing as good or better than the leafs do." Hunter Bushnell also spoke to the media, following his second win in as many starts this season. "It was a dominant performance from the entire WWGRD team. The boys are definitely coming together as a team in the second half of the season. It was my second game out a long retirement. Was a little shaky but I did my best out there. Made some big saves and let in some soft ones but the boys stood strong in front of me and we were able to come away with an impressive win." WWGRD looks to stretch the streak to four straight wins as they face the 1-7 Chiefs next Monday, January 21st at Adie Knox. Puck drop is set for 10:09pm, doors open at 9:15 and the first 1200 kids through the doors will receive a Stefan Branov replica beard.

 

First Star - Doug Lambier - 1 Goal, 1 Assist,
Got robbed at the end of the game

 



2nd Star - Michael Nantau - 1 Goal, 1 Assist

 

3rd Star - Mark Micelli - 1 Goal, 1 Assist

WWGRD Munches on the Meatheads

WWGRD kicked off 2013 the same way they ended 2012, with a big fucking W. After winning their last game of the 2012 schedule, WWGRD took on the Meatheads Friday afternoon in front of a packed house at Adie Knox arena. After a less than inspiring first half, WWGRD was looking for a strong push in the season's second half to get on a role heading into UWIHL Playoffs. They knew going in they were going to need a big effort from everyone as they would be playing without their Assistant Captain and emotional leader Sheldon Tracey.

An aggressive fore-check by their Captain and their small-but-scrappy rookie Brandon Pancerny lead to the teams first good chance and opened up the scoring. With a Meathead defender attempting to move the puck out of his own zone, Brandon Pancerny forced him to make a quick move towards Marc Berthiaume who then poked the puck loose off his twig. Pancerny then corralled the loose puck and quickly turned and threw it to a streaking Captain Crunch who grabbed the puck down low in the zone. WWGRD's big cappy made a hard move to the net, cut out front and slide the puck home before doing what teammates described as a "Bobby Orr-Like" dive and sliding in to the corner. The Meatheads were quick to respond however, as Marc Berthiaume was unable to clear a puck that eventually ended up in the back of the WWGRD net and knotted the game up and 1s.

With the game all tied up, WWGRD Tough Guy Michael Nantau decided it was time to put the team on his back. Dylan Berthiaume carried the puck over the line on a two on one rush, and patiently waited for a passing lane to open up before sliding a beauty feed over to the shoulder pad-less wonder Nantau who made no mistake and pumped in the go ahead goal. This wasn't the end of Nantau's scoring explosion however. With the puck being controlled in the zone, Seaner Michelli and all of his glorious flow threw a shot at the net. When the goalie was unable to control the rebound, Nantau was Johnny-on-the-spot and popped in his second gino of the game to stretch the lead to 2 and give the team all the momentum.

In all honestly, I don’t remember what the score was at half, or how the next two goals were scored, but somehow the Meatheads tied it up at 3s. With the game all squared up, it was time for the All-Swedish Macedonian Menace to show off his Finnish side for once. Phil Kessel gave the puck to the smooth A-cap Micelli who carried it around the zone before finding Djordjevski who was able to tickle a lil twine and put the boys right back on top. With the bench and fans still buzzing from the go-ahead goal, Douggie Lambier put on a show that made all of the ladies in the stands weak in the knees. He picked up the puck in the WWGRD zone and flawlessly flew across the ice and into the Meathead zone before fanning on a shot that found its way to the back of the net and gave WWGRD the two goal lead.

The meatheads scored another goal somehow to make the score 5-4 but were unable to complete the comeback, and as the final seconds ticked off the goal, Ron Weasley of the Meatheadss decided it was his time to shine. Pipi Longstockings decided that pushing around the much smaller Riley Pekar would make him feel better about losing the game and not having a soul, but this proved to be a mistake. As the boys in blue hopped on the ice to celly the W with the tendy, they noticed the scrum and came to the rescue of everyone’s favourite little call-up. WWGRD Captain tumbled into the scrum as players were all grabbing at each other with everyone on WWGRD trying to get their hands on Chucky Finster who started this whole thing. Cooler heads eventually prevailed, as Carrot Top had chirps hurled at him left and right by the extremely witty players of WWGRD. The meatheads eventually got Shawn White off the ice and WWGRD was able to properly celly their big dub.

WWGRD has a quick turnaround as they hit the ice again Monday, January 14th at 10pm. They will face the disgustingly-named Easton-fections as they look to stretch their winning streak to 3 games with Hunter Bushnell making his much-anticipated second appearance between the pipes for the boys in blue.

 

First Star - Michael Nantau - 2 Goals

Second Star - Sean Micelli - 2 Assists

 

3rd Star - Ron Weasley - Made us all laugh