What Would Gary Roberts Blog: Knotting Up The Jacks

Coming in hot after winning 6 straight games, WWGRD faced the Anglewood Jacks on a stormy February night. With a blizzard hitting the Windsor-Essex counting, both WWGRD and the Anglewood Jacks would be forced to play with a short bench for the second last matchup of the UWIHL regular season. I am legitimately writing this blog almost two weeks after the game happened, so there is little I remember from it, but I will try my best to make this a worth while post. Honestly I cannot remember the exact order all of the goals were scored in, but I'll fill you in on what I do know and how fucking sweet our team is.

So WWGRD's first goal of the game was scored by, believe it or not, the Macedonian Menace himself, Alex "No Finnish, All Swedish" Djordjevski. With the hard work of his linemates, Dylan Berthiaume and Seaner Michelli, the puck found its way to everyone's second favourite Macedonian hockey player's twig. Djordjevski, who has become a favourite whipping boy for many WWGRD fans, made no mistake in burying his fifth gino of the year. After Micelli fed a saucer to the younger Berthiaume on the team, D-Bert kicked a pass over to the streaking #21. All Swedish picked a spot that the Jack tendy had no chance one, just above his pad and below his blocker to put the boys in blue on the board.

Alright now like I said before, I don't actually know when they scored their goals, but I do know it was 2-1 for the bad guys when WWGRD scored to knot it back up at twosies. The breakout for the team's second goal of the game was started by team back-up goalie Hunter Bushnell who dressed as a defenceman for the shorthanded WWGRD squad, a huge FTBs move on his part. Hunny Bush dished a puck along the boards to No Finnish, who had a solid game, dished it up the elder Micelli who has been quietly putting together a strong season for the team. Mark carried the puck over the line and ripped a shot towards the net that may or may not have been deflected by the defenceman in front of him. The puck found its way past the tendy and into the twine to pull the game back to a stalemate.

Again, the time lapse has caused me to forget how the fuck the other team took the lead, but the rest of this story is fucking sick. WWGRD pulled the tendy with about a minute and change left and the score at 3-2 for the Anglewood Jacks. They had some pressure in the opposing zone but were unable to create any glorious chances as the puck then trickled into the corner. The Anglewood defenceman, instead of rimming the puck along the boards and out safely, turned the switch to hero-mode and tried to score on the empty net from 200 feet away by tossing 'er straight up the middle. This proved to be costly, as Mats Sundin showed some hand-eye co-ordination that got half the boys on the bench at least three quarter chubbers. He batted the clearing attempt down out of the air, corralled it on his twig and walked in and pumped a wrister past the tendy, knotting the game up at 3s with only 30 seconds left in the game. The bench erupted, knowing they had just stolen a crucial point in this contest, as the game would go on to a 3-3 final.

Sundin was asked about his heroic effort after the game, as he told the media "I was practicing tips all week in the living room while I was tossin a gag, decided to bring er on the ice, fired of a wrister, they were kissin the pavement after that one Don." The Macedonian Menace also spoke to the media following his two point performance, saying "The boys worked hard out there tonight. This was a game we could have one, but we could never find a way to get that goal to take the lead. If we continue to play with this intensity I see a long playoff run in our future, as long as we have a full roster."

WWGRD finishes off the regular season with a much anticipated matchup with the top-ranked Soupa Stars. With a 7-6-1 record going into the game, WWGRD looks to do the impossible and finish with an above .500 record this season after their abysmal 1-6 start to the year. The game will take place Thursday, March 7th at 11pm. Any fans that show up with ticket stubs from 5 or more other WWGRD games from earlier this year will get to skate with the boys during warm-ups of the regular season finale.