What Would Gary Roberts Blog: Chiefs Bow Down to WWGRD

Few teams have been hotter as of late in the UWIHL than WWGRD, as they have been undefeated in 2013 and carried a 3 game winning streak into Monday night's match-up with the lowly and winless Chiefs. With a house packed full of WWGRD fans wearing their Stefan Branov beards, the team hit the ice looking to inch even closer to that glorious .500 winning percentage. The game didn't start off as planned for WWGRD, however. A loose puck in the slot was jumped on by a Chief defenceman and he was able to get a quick shot through the Woodslee Wall to give the Cheifs the early lead. WWGRD wouldn't let this stand, and it was a brother combo that would pull the game back even.

The still pointless Josh Covelli was able to keep a contested puck in at the line as he moved it back down low to Dylan Berthiaume. Berthiaume who is self-described as having "the best hockey sense on the team but you wouldn't know it cause I can't skate and have no hands," did his best Michael Nantau impression and drove hard to the net with the puck. As he let a shot go, it bounced off Marc Berthiaume's twig who made no actual effort to put it in, and just got lucky as he was mucking in front of the net. The WWGRD captain celly'd extra hard on this goal, because unlike Alex Djordjevski in the prior game, the Berthiaume brothers were able to put the puck in the back of the net and give Covelli his much-deserved first point of the season.

This wouldn't be the end of Covelli's night on the scoresheet however, as he would later send in who has been possibly WWGRD's hottest player as of late, Michael Nantau. Nantau continued to fill the back of the night as he would finish the play and give WWGRD the lead at 2-1. The flood gates were now open and the team wasn't going to hold back. Douggie Lambier fed a lead pass to Brandon Pancerny who used his speed to blow past the helpless Chief defender. Pancerny, who has been in a pass-first mindset all year long, was able to fool the goaltender with a beauty backhander over the tendy's shoulder to stretch the team's lead to two goals. Obviously this wouldn't be enough for the boys, and with his girlfriend once again in the stands, it was Douggie's time to shine. After Sheldon Tracey whiffed on a cross ice pass from Sean Micelli, Douggie picked it up and did the rest on his own. He went end to end before popping the puck in behind the helpless, surprisingly-asian tendy to stretch the lead to 3 at 4-1.

Unfortunately, as WWGRD let their foot off the gas a bit, and the Chiefs were able to crawl back and make it a one goal game at 4-3. With the game getting a little too close for comfort, two players who had already made their presence known in this game stood up to put the game back out of reach. A beauty passing play between Brandon Pancerny and Douggie Lambier was finished off by the team's offensively-gifted defenceman and stretched the lead back to two at 5-3. With the win all but in the books, there was only one thing left for WWGRD to accomplish in this game: get their old friend Brad Creamer to lose his shit again.

As the puck found its way to Creamy in the offensive zone, he was trampled over from behind by the beauty Phil Kessel. When Sour Cream went after Kessel, he became subject to nonstop chants and taunts from the WWGRD bench before being escorted to the box by the ref. A subtle chirp by the WWGRD captain, who was in the box, put Creamypants over the edge. With a sheet of glass between the two of them, Cream of Broccoli launched a loogie right at the eye level of Marc Berthiaume. As the WWGRD captain laughed at his stupidity from the box, Creamer was tossed from the game by the ref as the final seconds ticked off and WWGRD secured their 4th straight win.

Assistant Captain Sean Micelli spoke with the media about the team's winning streak after the game, "The boys have been rolling as of late, all lines are producing, the D has been real steady and Johnny's been a wall back there like usual." He went on to add, "we gotta keep this little run here going though. We're sitting at 5-6 right now but we're better than that, we just gotta go out and show it." Fresh off his first points of the year, Covelli also spoke to the media about his big night, saying, "Well it's a little relief not having everyone up my ass with their sticks hassling me about not having any points. I was sick and tired of all the bullshit so I decided to show up for a game and show the boys what this kid's made off, especially for all the fans that came out and showed their support."

WWGRD hits the ice again next Monday, January 28th at 11pm. They will face off against Free Agents 1, a rag-tag team of misfits that has struggled to a 2-6-1 start, but cannot be taken lightly as earlier in the season they defeated the Old Milwaukees who has since been promoted to Tier 1. Since a win would put the team back up to .500 on the year, the first 500 kids through the doors will get locker room passes to hang out with the boys before puck drop. See you all on Monday.