What Would Gary Roberts Blog: WWGRD Munches on the Meatheads

WWGRD kicked off 2013 the same way they ended 2012, with a big fucking W. After winning their last game of the 2012 schedule, WWGRD took on the Meatheads Friday afternoon in front of a packed house at Adie Knox arena. After a less than inspiring first half, WWGRD was looking for a strong push in the season's second half to get on a role heading into UWIHL Playoffs. They knew going in they were going to need a big effort from everyone as they would be playing without their Assistant Captain and emotional leader Sheldon Tracey.

An aggressive fore-check by their Captain and their small-but-scrappy rookie Brandon Pancerny lead to the teams first good chance and opened up the scoring. With a Meathead defender attempting to move the puck out of his own zone, Brandon Pancerny forced him to make a quick move towards Marc Berthiaume who then poked the puck loose off his twig. Pancerny then corralled the loose puck and quickly turned and threw it to a streaking Captain Crunch who grabbed the puck down low in the zone. WWGRD's big cappy made a hard move to the net, cut out front and slide the puck home before doing what teammates described as a "Bobby Orr-Like" dive and sliding in to the corner. The Meatheads were quick to respond however, as Marc Berthiaume was unable to clear a puck that eventually ended up in the back of the WWGRD net and knotted the game up and 1s.

With the game all tied up, WWGRD Tough Guy Michael Nantau decided it was time to put the team on his back. Dylan Berthiaume carried the puck over the line on a two on one rush, and patiently waited for a passing lane to open up before sliding a beauty feed over to the shoulder pad-less wonder Nantau who made no mistake and pumped in the go ahead goal. This wasn't the end of Nantau's scoring explosion however. With the puck being controlled in the zone, Seaner Michelli and all of his glorious flow threw a shot at the net. When the goalie was unable to control the rebound, Nantau was Johnny-on-the-spot and popped in his second gino of the game to stretch the lead to 2 and give the team all the momentum.

In all honestly, I don’t remember what the score was at half, or how the next two goals were scored, but somehow the Meatheads tied it up at 3s. With the game all squared up, it was time for the All-Swedish Macedonian Menace to show off his Finnish side for once. Phil Kessel gave the puck to the smooth A-cap Micelli who carried it around the zone before finding Djordjevski who was able to tickle a lil twine and put the boys right back on top. With the bench and fans still buzzing from the go-ahead goal, Douggie Lambier put on a show that made all of the ladies in the stands weak in the knees. He picked up the puck in the WWGRD zone and flawlessly flew across the ice and into the Meathead zone before fanning on a shot that found its way to the back of the net and gave WWGRD the two goal lead.

The meatheads scored another goal somehow to make the score 5-4 but were unable to complete the comeback, and as the final seconds ticked off the goal, Ron Weasley of the Meatheadss decided it was his time to shine. Pipi Longstockings decided that pushing around the much smaller Riley Pekar would make him feel better about losing the game and not having a soul, but this proved to be a mistake. As the boys in blue hopped on the ice to celly the W with the tendy, they noticed the scrum and came to the rescue of everyone’s favourite little call-up. WWGRD Captain tumbled into the scrum as players were all grabbing at each other with everyone on WWGRD trying to get their hands on Chucky Finster who started this whole thing. Cooler heads eventually prevailed, as Carrot Top had chirps hurled at him left and right by the extremely witty players of WWGRD. The meatheads eventually got Shawn White off the ice and WWGRD was able to properly celly their big dub.

WWGRD has a quick turnaround as they hit the ice again Monday, January 14th at 10pm. They will face the disgustingly-named Easton-fections as they look to stretch their winning streak to 3 games with Hunter Bushnell making his much-anticipated second appearance between the pipes for the boys in blue.